Monday, February 1, 2010



When I was 26, living in Fort Myers, Florida, and thought I would never find the right person to spend the rest of my life with, I had this little chat with God.

“Look,” I said to God, after rejecting another date. “If there is someone you want me to be with for the rest of my life please “bring him on” and if I am to stay single for the rest of my life that is fine too, but please don’t send me anymore losers. I’m almost thirty years old. I don’t have time for these weirdoes anymore. What must I do to find the love of my life?”

A week later, on Sadie Hawkins Day, I met Peter in a grungy bar. A friend was having second thoughts about her impending divorce and asked me to meet her for a drink and a chat. Attempting to have a private conversation was difficult as the chairs around our table quickly filled with men who offered us drinks, dances, and their screws. Yes, their screws! At the door women were given bolts and men were given screws for the Sadie Hawkins Day Party that has been held the first Saturday in November since 1938. Sadie Hawkin, the homely unwed daughter of the Mayor of Cartoonist Al Capp’s Lil Abner pursued the top eligible bachelors in a “run for your life” foot race. The ultimate prize was matrimony for the spinsters. And here I was…at the party for the spinsters.

But, the goal at this party was not to run men down but rather to find your partner by getting “screwed.” I threw my bolt away after a Neanderthal’s almost fit. Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, in walked handsome Peter, my future husband and love of my life. I was instantly drawn to this gorgeous Greek with sun streaked hair and the most beautiful soft brown eyes I’d ever seen. I fell in love with the “windows to Peter’s soul.” We spent the next three years together until the day my in-laws gave us a society wedding at Copley Plaza in Boston. My father-in- law always said, “Kathy ran from Peter just fast enough to catch him.” If Peter was my Li’l Abner, then I was his Daisy Mae. With Peter by my side, I felt God had answered my prayers. “Ask and ye shall receive.” had worked.

15 years later my Li’l Abner stood by his Daisy Mae. I was diagnosed with breast cancer twice that was missed by the medical community both times but not by my female intuition. We fought this disease together for ten year that included treatment , operations, and soul searching.

When your health is challenged your relationships are challenged. The closer the relationship the greater the challenge because deep emotions result in deep cracks. Crisis causes relationships to either grow stronger or fall apart… but they never stay the same.

The way I see it, relationships are like bricks in archways; two or more entities fused together to become one. When an earthquake like illness and economic changes shakes those bonds to their foundation, cracks form. If the cracks are ignored, perhaps from denial, they grow larger until they completely split. However, if the cracks are scrutinized with soul searching and repaired with love and respect, the attachment can become so strong that when everything else is reduced to rubble, the archway survives. My illness registered a 5.0 magnitude on the Richter scale of Existence and although my life had tumbled down around my ears, my 27 year marriage is still standing.I had my moments of doubt but I always reflectd on why I made the marriage choice I made, and the doubts are put into perspective. When I remember how I met and why I married my husband, I realize that a prayer was answered--a desire had manifested-- and my Law of Attraction is still in play.